Tuesday, January 2, 2007

word+voice=soul assasins

i got everyone telling me ' oh, si anu tu dah berjaye dah turun berat badan die, how about you?..'
my god!! it`s like killing my brain..ok, i admit that my weight is like 70++ and that is the worst.
i got face full of acnes and the scars , very bad bodyshape that i do not dare to face the crowd..
why people around me seem and look so perfect anyway?not that im questioning how unfair my life compares to other(that is bad,aida...very bad!!) , i just wondering..how it feels like being beautiful,slim and dreamed by all man..just wondering..
i try so hard to be known as a tough and sporting girl that nothing on earth that can make me feel bad about myself..but then,i`m wrong about myself..i judge myself wrongly and i really regret it for i hurt my heart everytime with my pretending..
i got a friend(a guy friend) from high school..i joke about my diet programme that i need to be slim so that i can attend our reunion with other classmate happily..but than..his words just struck to my heart and made me sad and think hard over the day..he simply said ' what for slimming yourself, you will be rejected by anyman of our school,anyway ' ommangod!!!
that`s hurt..it`s not that im hoping that they are going to be my hubby ( never pop up from my mind.serious!!)..it just that how ugly my face and my shape are that i turned into big monster to them? i just wish that they gonna given a wife size double than mine (hhahahaha.just thinking bout that make me feel sooooo happy and calm).
then,i made my self clear that eventough you are so strong and no word can hurt you,that does not mean other people are like you too.watch your mouth!!

aim/target:asian greatest chef ever

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